Warrant Out for My Arrest

WADSWORTH JUSTICE COURT
WASHOE COUNTY, STATE OF NEVADA

BENCH WARRANT
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

To any Sheriff, Marshal or Policeman in the State of Nevada:

You are hereby directed to arrest forthwith and bring before me, for FAILURE TO APPEAR, MARIA CATHERINE GUALBERTO for the purpose of answering to the charge(s) of:

WCC 70.2701C BASIC SPEED – GREATER THAN POSTED

Dated at my office in said City, in the County of Washoe, this date: November 29, 2005.

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Justice of the Peace
Wadsworth Township

The road to Burning Man is the road to hell—metaphorically and literally. And the actual drive there is an almost guaranteed highway patrol trap for speedsters anxious to get to the party. In 2005, on my way to the festival, I got caught. For anyone who’s driven to Black Rock City, the speed limits change often and you really have to be on the look-out. Well, I had just driven into a small town and apparently the speed limit was 25mph. Clearly, I didn’t catch that signage because I was going 70-80. I feel like it was so long ago, I don’t recall the details anymore. But I do remember the cop pulling us over and reprimanding, “I was following you with my siren for almost five minutes before you pulled over. Your music must be too loud!”

I knew I was screwed. But he was really nice about the whole thing. He brought my speed down to something a little more reasonable like 15 over the speed limit.

A month later, I got a $145 ticket in the mail, which I paid with all my other bills and a San Francisco parking ticket.

Here’s what happened. My speeding ticket and check got switched around with my parking ticket. The Wadsworth Court never got my payment and issued this warrant for my arrest.

I’ve been dilly-dallying with this issue until now. The bench warrant sat amongst a pile of paperwork and things to do. Luckily, the court happened to get a hold of me at work. I told the assistant I was happy to take care of it. That I had initial concerns about resubmitting a check and having the warrant still hold. But she said that I could pay via credit card and that she would send me a document proving that the warrant had been removed—and I could keep the paperwork in my car for safekeeping.

Glad that’s over. I knew I would have to take care of it before I went off to Burning Man again this year.

This brings up one more issue. My name. My full name is Maria Catherine Gualberto Gacad. Maria Catherine is my first name. Yes, two words, one first name. Gualberto is my middle name—my mother’s maiden name. Gacad is obviously my last name. I can’t tell you how much confusion and anguish this name brings me. I’ve neglected Maria (I don’t like it), but it shows up in formal documentation so now it’s on my work files and in our work directory as my legal name. I want it stricken from the record.

The whole name shows up on my driver’s license, but it’s so long that my last name got moved to a second line. That makes police officers and airline security attendants think that my last name is Gualberto. So I always get stopped and questioned. “Your last name on this doesn’t match your airline ticket.” “Your last name on this doesn’t match your insurance coverage.” I could go on and on. Very annoying. Now you know. If you want to piss me off, call me Maria. I will get very angry.