Destined for Average

I got to see my best friend Daniel on Saturday. I love my Daniel time. We went from brunch at the Blue Jay Café, to hot chocolate and tea at Absinthe, then capped off our time with a chocolate chip cookie for me, and a chocolate croissant for him at Citizen Cake. I even went back later on in the day for another chocolate chip cookie. I can’t help myself!!!

There’s so much to talk about when we get together. There’s his wedding that he’s frugally trying to plan. “Forget the flowers, no one remembers the flowers.” I agreed with him. I told him that when I get married, I don’t even want to have it catered. I’m going to hire a bunch of high-schoolers to run around to the best cheap eats in the city and bring bins of food back for the reception. No need for catering! Maybe I’ll hire a taco truck.

And invitations? Over-rated. I’ll be using Evite. Ha-ha, people laugh. But I say, who’s laughing when the credit card statement comes, eh? Who’ll be laughing when you have to stay at a hostel during your honeymoon because your wedding was so expensive, huh? Ha-ha. I won’t be the one having the beautiful, classic wedding, but I promise, it’s going to be a lot of fun. Think piñatas, magicians, fire-dancers…Don’t anyone steal my ideas!!!

All the talk of weddings got me depressed. I asked Daniel (who has this eerily accurate foresight), “Do you think I’m going to get married some day?”

He paused. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Really?” I perked up. “What kind of guy do you think I’ll end up marrying?”

He paused again. “Average. He’s going to be average.” My bewildered look begged for more information. “He’s going to be some average Joe. That’s all I’m saying. Average.”

I can’t wait to meet my Mr. Right, some Joe Schmo Schmuck. If you know of any average guys, send them my way. My best friend has a sneaky suspicion that among these nobodies, the perfect guy awaits me.