Twice in the past year, I’ve been in the situation where some loser has said those three words to me and regretted it. My advice? Restrain yourself. Think very carefully about the repercussions.
Situation #1
I’d gone on a handful of dates with Jeff. We’re at his place watching TV, but dozing away. He puts his arms around me and asserts, “Aww, I love you, honey.” My eyes pop open, I’m wide-awake now, but I pretend to be sleepy and restless.
Me: “I should go home. I have to wake up early and go for a run tomorrow. I’m gonna get going.”
Jeff: “It’s not even 11:00. I don’t get it.”
Me: “I’m so tired. I put in a long day at work today.”
Jeff: “Catherine, at least let me walk you out…”
Me: “I’m fine. No, don’t get up. I’ll talk to you later.”
Slam.
And that was the end of that.
Situation #2
I’d gone on a handful of dates with Max. During a phone conversation, he says confidently, “I love you.” My reaction? I laughed. I didn’t laugh to myself. The laugh wasn’t in my head. Nor did I stifle the laugh. I heartily laughed out loud as if he had just told me a joke and finished with an ‘I love you’ punch line.
Me: “What the hell are you talking about? You don’t love me. You don’t even know me.”
Max: “Yes, I do. I don’t know, I can’t explain it. I just love you.”
Me: “Max, tell me why you love me. Why? I want to hear your reasoning.”
Max: “I dunno. Like I said. I can’t explain it. I just have these strong feelings and I know I love you.”
Me: “You know what, Max. There’s a screw loose somewhere in your head. You can’t love someone and not be able to specifically identify the reasons why you love that person. What is wrong with you? You don’t even know me. You can’t love me. It’s impossible.”
Max: “I do, I do. You’re taking this all wrong. Let me come over and we can talk about this face-to-face.”
Me: “Do not come over. Do not come over. If you come over, I am not answering my door. Stay away.”
Click.
And that was the end of that.
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