My pregnant sister is planning on a brood of four. Four! One baby, two baby, three baby, four! I’m so excited; I know I’m going to think of them as my own.
But if someone told me that I would never be able to have my own children, I wouldn’t blink an eye. Is something wrong with me? Am I lacking some kind of maternal trait? Kids love me, and I love them. But I’ve never yearned to have my own children.
When people would say, “You’ll understand when you have kids,” I’d immediately insist, “I’m not going to have kids!”
Inevitably, someone always responded, “You say that now. But you wait.” When I was a teen, aggravating statements like that made me want to go out and get my tubes tied to prove them wrong.
My sentiments still haven’t changed. Nevertheless, I don’t like to talk about it anymore. People seem to think I’m an insolent, selfish brat for declaring I don’t want to be a mother so I just shut up and keep quiet.
I’ve never come across another woman who, like me, doesn’t want to have kids. I feel different and freakish kinda like Boo Radley. But Boo Radley was the one who came to the children’s rescue in To Kill a Mockingbird. He loved Jem and Scout. In the end, he was the true champion of children.
Maybe I will change my mind. Who knows? Maybe people are right. Or maybe when I meet that perfect guy, I won’t want anything more than to have his children. For now, I’ll just settle for being an Auntie. And just in case, I won’t have my tubes tied.
Dear Catherine,
One of your friends sent me the link to your blog. Very good. Thank you.
Why I am commenting on this posting is because I, too, don’t want kids. When I tried to get myself “fixed” at age 23, the Dr. told me I had to wait until I was 28. Serious.
To meet others, try googling “No Kidding.” By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the social group. I felt so much better meeting others who are childfree by choice.
Good luck,
Kym