Here’s a glimpse into the past. Dated April 29, 2004, this particular column solidified my reputation as a gutsy advice columnist at the Chicago Graduate School of Business. This is probably some of the best writing I’ve ever done–hopefully not the last.
Hey there Vix,
Alrighty. Some female friends and I went for a few drinks after our Friday night Cases class, and the topic of hot men at the GSB quickly surfaced (I was purely a spectator/moderator). This evolved into a discussion concerning a 12 month calendar and who at the GSB would be included. I thought I would settle this debate for my group and go to The Source. What are your thoughts? And so I’m included at some point, what if there was a 3 year calendar for single, 2nd year-latinos at the GSB? Who would make it then? These are the questions. Thanks for the help.
-2nd Year Calendar Scout
What a great question!!! Well, boys and girls, the response you’ve all been waiting for. Frankly, I have been pushing off this question for quite a few weeks now, fretting over offending my pool of potential hook-ups. I thought about how hurt I would be if I weren’t included in a 12 month calendar of the hottest GSB women. But you know what? Fuck it.
But as a matter of fact, I know and you know, that we all know, I would fall somewhere in that female calendar.
A few notes: I can’t make an assessment on the first-year crop of guys since I know so few of them…hence, you’re all excluded from the survey. This is a 2nd Year GSB male calendar only. As for a Latino calendar, let’s not limit ourselves!
Here goes. Drum roll please. Starting off with Mr. January. This guy is most definitely at the top of my list, with muscles that are literally popping out of his shirt. Granted his baby-tees are a better fit for me, that’s still beside the point. Franco Pacelli is red hot. Yummy! All I gotta say is, I better get some lovin for this high-profile promotion.
Next up. If this guy works out as hard in the gym as he does with his schoolwork, then it’s no wonder he’s coming in close behind at #2. Brandon Lucas. Hello? Has anyone seen this guy on-campus? Like my #1 pick, he is bulging out in all the right places–and his shirts are regular-sized! Absolutely scrumptious.
Steven Devloo is perfect as Mr. March because once you get a good look, you will want to march on by his place every day. Seriously, he is the complete package. Great body and good looks to match. Lick-lick.
These three guys make up my Tasty Triumvirate. Depending on which GSB girl you ask, you’ll get some variance, but overall these three guys rank highly if you were to poll the 2nd year female population. But what do other girls’ opinions matter? They don’t. It’s all about me. So back to the list.
Aside from the top three, high on the list is the athletic prodigy Anuj Maniar. Like me, Anuj is short in stature. But we all know that good things come in small packages. There isn’t a sport this guy can’t do and do well–bowling, rock-climbing, basketball, soccer. No joke. You have to watch this guy in action. Trust me. He kicks ass.
Mr. May is David Rangel. May I touch you? You are hot! I can’t say I see this guy much on-campus anymore, but it sure is a special day when I do. Girls, watch out. You just MAY suffer from whiplash if you happen to see him walking by.
Only the best of the best can be the man for my own birthday month. Mr. June is the former high-tech group co-chair, Scott Ari Silverman. “Ari” divorced yet? I’m kidding. I’m just kidding!!! Come on now. I’m not that bad. This guy looks like he spends more time tinkering with weights than he does with his techie gadgets.
Coming in as Mr. July is my California counter-part, Eugene Sun. This sunny delight must be blessed with good genes because the whole time we lived at Regents, I think I saw him at the gym once. And I was there on a daily basis. Totally unfair! As much as I love Eugene, I hate the fact that he can eat whatever the hell he wants and still look that good. God those were the days.
Wonder twin powers activate! The 2nd Year Stewarts (Barry Stewart and DJ Stewart) share Mr. August privileges. Double your pleasure with side-by-side mug shots in the 2003-04 Campus Student Photo Directory. Page 67. Check ’em out. I just might have to name my first-born son Stewart for good measure!
Sporty Peter Lukens is my Mr. September. Pedro, I’ve given you a lot of shit for putting on a few extra pounds, but I expect you to lose the excess once we get out of business school. There’s just something very appealing about a guy who gets up before the sun is out and mutters, “surfing!” Another California-bred hottie, Peter is always on the go…surfing, mountain-biking, frisbee-ing. You will have to teach me how to swim one of these days.
Next one up is Scott Phillips. This guy is a true athlete, a running machine. What can I do to convince you to come on out to San Francisco? I would love to train with you. If my body were as fit as yours, I’d have all my hot gay friends in SF switching their sexual preference.
And in Thanksgiving, we’ve got Ricardo Silva as Mr. November. His interests as described in the facebook: surfing, rugby, soccer. That shouldn’t come as a surprise since this guy is ripped. And watching him play soccer, you’d think he was playing in the World Cup. Damn, get me a camera! And forget the flash, Ricardo’s radiant smile puts a twinkle in every girl’s eye.
Mr. December is [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]! Yes, you!! This column was a lot of fun to write, but nerve-wracking at the same time. I’m sitting here with the remaining list of candidates and I really can’t decide. I swear your name is here. Just think, you would have been either Mr. December or an honorable mention. Trust me!
And lastly, a special shout out goes to the hottest guy of all time, Adam “HOTTEST GUY OF ALL TIME” Pressman who graduated last year. The GSB just isn’t the same without the Pressman eye-candy.
TIME TO APPLY TO BE THE NEXT ADVICE COLUMNIST
I am now accepting applications for the next Ask Vixen. A few things to keep in mind. This is not a popularity contest. You will be judged based on your responses only! And yes, the next columnist can be either a guy or a girl. The one who started it all was Ask Booker.