My aunt celebrated her 49th birthday this weekend. With no less than 75 people in her house, it was like a mini family reunion not to mention a great, big celebration. I got there before most of the guests arrived to hang out with my cousins. I walked through the door, gave everyone a hug, and was horrified to hear my younger cousins blurt out, “Nice blog.” “Yeah, nice blog, Vixen.”
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to react. I haven’t publicly announced this blog to anyone. It’s only included in my gmail signature so I’m still surprised when people mention that they read it.
Well, I care that my little 13-year-old cousin Jessika is reading this blog. STOP IT, JESSIE!
Turns out my aunt somehow stumbled upon my blog and told my family. I know I can’t stop the maelstrom that will soon ensue…so maybe, possibly, hopefully I can do a little damage control with the following. OK, JESSIE, READ NOW!
Letter to My Family:
Dear Family,
I realize I engage in reckless behavior. You’ve seen me bust a move on the dance floor, crank up the karaoke, and throw down a beer or two or three. What can I say? I’m a party girl, I drink a lot, and sometimes I lose control. Consider it a backlash against everything I’ve done right (and done well) my whole life.
I can’t say my parents treasured the time they spent raising me. My temper can flare with the best of them, but I was a child exemplar on paper. I got straight A’s. I was always at the top of my class. I babysat my teachers’ kids. I gained acceptance to UC Berkeley as a junior under their accelerated program. As a full-time college student, I was there on scholarship. I got into the #2 MBA program in the country. I did my summer internship at Cisco and worked as hard as I could. I impressed the managers and (out of the internship class) garnered the most number of full-time offers from various departments.
Aside from school and work, I set certain standards for myself that were important for me. When I was a kid, my parents made me go to Mass with them. No one drags me now. I go because I listen to the scriptures and I want to incorporate the messages into making my life a good one.
I waited a long time to be intimate with someone. 24 years!! While having dinner one night, my co-worker stroked my hair and said, “I love you. I really love you.” He didn’t expect anything. Nothing had happened between us prior to that moment. It just came from his heart. I was so happy. I was glad I waited.
I mention all these things because that is the core of who I am. In this blog, I write about the crazy shit because who wants to read a posting about how I’m really a nerdy dork at heart–that most nights, I actually sit on my couch and read.
Despite the speeding tickets, the drinking, the hangovers, the wild behavior, I want you all to know that there’s no way I would ruin my life. I would never intentionally hurt my family or friends, nor would I ever do anything so off-base as to jeopardize my career or future. Please don’t worry, I’m not going to suddenly become a 30-year-old fuck-up. Trust me, it’s not going to happen.
But I understand your concern. I’ll try not to be too zany!
Love,
Cathy
I should have prefaced my blog with this posting. But I believed my audience to be a bunch of 20- / 30-somethings who would be interested in reading about the experiences of a single, contemporary hippie living and breathing the San Francisco scene. Ahh, the power of the internet. Grrreat…now my family is reading. Shucks.
Hey Cathy,
This is Jesika, your cousin, thats fine though, you spelled my name wrong not a big thing. I haven’t read your blog, up until now. [[Trust me I didnt bother even reading it all]] Just wanted to let you know that it’s not a big surprise you’d do such crazy things, because we all screw up and make mistakes! Haha And I saw what you wrote.
~Jess