Wellbutrin Replacement

After consulting with my nutritionist, I researched a specific B vitamin that she suggested I look into to help with PCOS.

I found the following helpful information on the PCOS nutrition website.

Inositol is a member of the B-vitamins and a component of the cell membrane. There are many reasons women with PCOS may want to take this supplement as inositol has been linked to improved insulin, triglyceride, and testosterone levels, as well as improved blood pressure, ovulation and weight loss.

Only a handful of studies were conducted on inositol and PCOS, but all showed favorable results, especially when it came to fertility. In the most recent and largest study, 25 women received inositol for six months. Twenty-two out of the 25 (88%) patients had one spontaneous menstrual cycle during treatment, of whom 18 (72%) maintained normal ovulatory activity. A total of 10 pregnancies (40% of patients) were obtained. It is believed that inositol increases the action of insulin in women with PCOS, thereby improving ovulation, decreasing testosterone, and lowering blood pressure and triglycerides.

I found these inositol capsules conveniently on Amazon. (Seriously, what can’t you find on Amazon? Love-love-love Amazon.) But the capsules were so big, I simply couldn’t take them. I have a fear of choking–which has happened before with pills.

Amazon to the rescue again. I purchased the powder form instead. So much better. I simply mix with a little bit of water or juice. Very easy.

We’ll see how this all plays out with my fertility plans, but taking the vitamin has had a surprising effect on my attitude. It’s been very calming for me. I actually didn’t realize that one of the known benefits of inositol is improved emotional well-being. I could’ve been taking this natural remedy instead of chemically-insane Wellbutrin all these years. I remember the first time I took Wellbutrin. I had gone to Marc’s place for some company (or assurance that I wasn’t going to die by myself). I remember staring at the TV with my tongue hanging out of my mouth and a dazed look on my face. I felt like I’d been lobotomized.

Food for thought for any of my readers who need a little happiness kick.


Nutrition 101

Finally, I have 1 nice thing to say about Kaiser. Well actually I have 2. First, they treat their employees really well: pension, generous 401k match, excellent vacation time, you name it.

It’s great to work for Kaiser, but sucks to be a patient. Thank God for my blog and for social media. If you have a grievance, it’s no use screaming your head off to someone on the phone who isn’t paying attention to begin with. Tell the world the issue and someone who’s tasked with trolling the interweb for the company’s name will contact you and try to play peacemaker. Can’t say that’s solved any of my issues, but at least complaints have been filed and are “being discussed.” Yeah, whatever that means. Keep counting your money, Kaiser, and distribute the wealth among your employees while patients suffer from your gross incompetence!

The main nice thing I wanted to say about Kaiser is that I finally got some quality health care! Granted, I had to be proactive and make the appointment myself, nevertheless the Registered Dietitian I saw was so helpful, giving me one full hour of good counsel. She confirmed my nutritional death sentence, but advised me to take it one step at a time as it looks like I am already overwhelmed. “How about for 2 weeks, you pick one thing out of the list you’re going to give up. Then something else after 2 weeks and we’ll just take it slow.”

She continued, “A glass of wine isn’t going to derail your plan. But make it count. If you’re going to have wine or sugar, make sure it’s something you’re going to savor. Make it your favorite glass of wine or your favorite dessert. Then stop because you should be satisfied.”

So here is the nutritional death sentence.

I need a BMI of 19-20 which means I have to get to 91-95 pounds.

No dairy.

No soy.

No sugar.

No caffeine.

No alcohol.

No aspartame which can be found in gum.

No wheat.

No gluten.


The limited things I can eat:

Fresh fruit and vegetables



Sweet potatoes or yams





Rice cake



Organic Tomato Bisque soup from the SF Soup Co. (but limit soup to 1 cup a day or no more than 2500 mg of sodium a day)

I keep telling myself this isn’t forever. I can do this! The dietitian also has the same disorder I have, PCOS, so she had expert advice and resources for me to research. This is crazy time-consuming. I spend about an hour of every day researching vitamins, herbs, supplements, food products, books, resources, healers, and going to acupuncture. I need another vacation!

Eating for 1, Dreaming of 2

I am that person who scoffs at lactose intolerance. They say Asians tend to be lactose-intolerant. I say the phobia is in your head.

On the California ballet, I vigorously nixed Proposition 37’s Right to Know initiative which would have required suppliers to label genetically-modified foods. Who cares? For all the people who shop at Whole Foods or read labels or watch what they eat, all that diligence won’t stop those same people from forming lines around Mitchell’s ice-cream or Mission Chinese. I doubt every scoop and every dish comes from all-natural ingredients!

I rolled my eyes in church when the priest announced they had a special line for communion for people who needed a gluten-free host. Have you had communion before? The host is the size of a quarter and dissolves easily in your mouth. If you’re scared to eat the body of Christ because you might have a gluten reaction, then no amount of praying is going to save your soul.

Grocery-shopping, I gloss over the low fat and nonfat dairy. I skip the free-range, cage-free eggs. I zoom by the grass-fed, hormone-free meats. I storm through the organic fruits and veggies, opting instead for regular-priced for regular people.

All my life I’ve been on an all-fat, eat whatever makes you happy diet. Cheesecake for breakfast. Cookies for lunch. Chips for dinner. Wash it all down with 2 glasses of wine a day. I believe that fulfilling your cravings should be the mantra for food consumption.

Until now…this ghost baby has gotten in the way. Instead of saying ‘we’re trying to have a kid’ or ‘we’re trying to conceive,’ I’m just going to say ‘ghost baby’ because this kid is haunting the bejesus out of me and my eating habits.

“Don’t eat that chocolate, mommy. Your insulin will spike.”

“Mommy no! Dairy makes me gassy.”

“Put that glass of Cab down, mommy. Remember what the acupuncturist said about alcohol.”

“Gluten bad. Gluten bad. BAD MOMMY!”

I am going to throttle this ghost baby.

The All Fat-Consuming Skinny Girl

The facts:

I eat the following every work day: a) either a small plate of eggs and sausage or a large cup of oatmeal that I dump about half a cup of brown sugar in, b) either a bag of Fritos or Dorritos or a small can of Pringles, c) either Nutter Butters, Ferrero Rocher, See’s Candies or a small tub of ice-cream. In addition, I have whatever I’m craving that day for lunch and whatever Dean happens to make for dinner.

I do not engage in any form of physical activity whatsoever. Instead of walking to work (which isn’t far), I take buses and cable cars and use that time to check emails before getting into the office.

I currently weigh close to what I did on the day I graduated from high school back in 1993 which was 78 pounds. I’m 4’10”.

All that said, the point is that my body naturally became healthy the unhealthier I became. When I tried to lose weight, by running and working out and dieting and eating healthy, I couldn’t. But when I stopped trying, that’s when I became skinny. Is this explainable? Does this phenomenon make any sense?

A friend of mine told me that he started seeing a nutritionist recently because even though he swims all the time (trains daily and competes), he cannot shed a single pound. He said, in fact, he’s gained weight despite all his training. And no, it is not muscle because the guy is seriously pudgy. When he told me this, I wanted to blurt out, “Stop being active!” But I don’t have as good enough a friendship with him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

This year, I am committed to getting my body naturally healthy to conceive a child. I started by cutting out soda from my diet. That was the easy part. Pretty impressive, though, for someone who used to drink a Diet Coke a day.

Next up: eating healthy. That means:

No sugar – since sugar seems to play a role in my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) disorder

Consuming organic – since so much of what we eat has hormones that can really screw with your system

No alcohol – this will be a toughie

No caffeine – this will be easy

I’ve been told that being underweight may be prohibiting us from getting pregnant, or at least play a role in our difficulty. God, we both have a shitload of fertility issues. Here’s my concern: if I start eating healthy and cut out all the cookies and ice-cream and chips that I’m used to eating every single day, then I am going to be 70 pounds before you know it!

Ironically, women who have PCOS tend to be obese. Even my doctor said, “Well, looks like you are the rare skinny person who has PCOS.”

How am I the rare anomaly on 2 fronts.

1) I’ve gone against the grain when it comes to my hormonal disorder. I should be fat, yet I’m skinny.

2) I am the most disgusting eater (often asking waiters “What is the most caloric thing on your menu?”), yet I’m skinny.

Any health experts or nutritionists want to help me understand?


Soda is bad. I’ve always known it. But that fact never stopped me from consuming a can a day. I don’t drink coffee (never liked how it made me feel) so drinking soda was my own way of caffeinating. Instead of feeling left out while others held their white lidded coffee cups, I could hold my shiny silver Diet Coke can with pride.

One day a couple months ago, I decided that soda was evil liquefied and I resolved at that moment to give it up. Haven’t touched it since. I thought it might be challenging once work started to pick up, but I still haven’t had any craving for it. None whatsoever.

I’ve said in the past that I am an all-or-nothing type of person. If I need to diet, I’ll go on the lemonade cleanse (synonymous with starvation). If I need to exercise, why not run a marathon. Same deal with soda. Something clicked in my brain to stop, and I stopped.

I’ve been reading how sugar contributes to my hormonal disorder so I am thinking of giving that up as well. But one thing at a time! A girl has got to have her treats