The All Fat-Consuming Skinny Girl

The facts:

I eat the following every work day: a) either a small plate of eggs and sausage or a large cup of oatmeal that I dump about half a cup of brown sugar in, b) either a bag of Fritos or Dorritos or a small can of Pringles, c) either Nutter Butters, Ferrero Rocher, See’s Candies or a small tub of ice-cream. In addition, I have whatever I’m craving that day for lunch and whatever Dean happens to make for dinner.

I do not engage in any form of physical activity whatsoever. Instead of walking to work (which isn’t far), I take buses and cable cars and use that time to check emails before getting into the office.

I currently weigh close to what I did on the day I graduated from high school back in 1993 which was 78 pounds. I’m 4’10”.

All that said, the point is that my body naturally became healthy the unhealthier I became. When I tried to lose weight, by running and working out and dieting and eating healthy, I couldn’t. But when I stopped trying, that’s when I became skinny. Is this explainable? Does this phenomenon make any sense?

A friend of mine told me that he started seeing a nutritionist recently because even though he swims all the time (trains daily and competes), he cannot shed a single pound. He said, in fact, he’s gained weight despite all his training. And no, it is not muscle because the guy is seriously pudgy. When he told me this, I wanted to blurt out, “Stop being active!” But I don’t have as good enough a friendship with him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

This year, I am committed to getting my body naturally healthy to conceive a child. I started by cutting out soda from my diet. That was the easy part. Pretty impressive, though, for someone who used to drink a Diet Coke a day.

Next up: eating healthy. That means:

No sugar – since sugar seems to play a role in my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) disorder

Consuming organic – since so much of what we eat has hormones that can really screw with your system

No alcohol – this will be a toughie

No caffeine – this will be easy

I’ve been told that being underweight may be prohibiting us from getting pregnant, or at least play a role in our difficulty. God, we both have a shitload of fertility issues. Here’s my concern: if I start eating healthy and cut out all the cookies and ice-cream and chips that I’m used to eating every single day, then I am going to be 70 pounds before you know it!

Ironically, women who have PCOS tend to be obese. Even my doctor said, “Well, looks like you are the rare skinny person who has PCOS.”

How am I the rare anomaly on 2 fronts.

1) I’ve gone against the grain when it comes to my hormonal disorder. I should be fat, yet I’m skinny.

2) I am the most disgusting eater (often asking waiters “What is the most caloric thing on your menu?”), yet I’m skinny.

Any health experts or nutritionists want to help me understand?

The Burning Bulge

I gained some weight while I was at Burning Man. I swear I don’t do well in all-you-can-eat environments like the Commissary where we ate our meals.

Yesterday I decided to do something about it. I limited myself to 1200 calories. Everything I ate (like those packaged meals from Trader Joe’s) had a calorie count so I knew exactly how much I was eating. After work, I went to the gym and ran two miles. Mind you, I don’t run unless it’s race time. Then I spent at least 30 minutes laid up in the steam room.

The next day, I kid you not, I had gained almost a pound. Gained! It couldn’t have been muscle either because I don’t pump iron. I hate it when people say, “Oh that’s muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat.” Where do people come up with these blanket statements?

It has always been counter-intuitive for me. Gaining weight when I eat less and exercise more.

I swear to God I lose weight when I don’t exercise which is why you don’t ever see me “training.” I don’t do that crap anymore. It doesn’t help. I think it’s because our bodies naturally know how to take care of ourselves. If we start messing that up via extreme exercise, then we get hungrier, and our bodies retaliate by refusing to metabolize all that food we eat. Maybe not so counter-intuitive after all.

Fashion Friday: Sleep

Heather Graham’s beauty secret is that she tries to get 11-12 hours of sleep a night. I guess actresses can afford that kind of luxury!

I don’t function well on too much sleep. An abundance of rest actually makes me more tired. I am most productive with seven hours of solid shut-eye. But I have struggled with sleep my whole life which is why I take Ambien here and there!

Here are some behaviors to practice for good sleep.

•             Exercise regularly

•             Set a regular bedtime and waking time, even on the weekends

•             Eliminate caffeine at least 6 hours before bed

•             Avoid alcohol 4 to 6 hours before sleep

•             Beware of large, late meals

•             Create a relaxing bedtime routine

•             Practice relaxation techniques

•             Create a comfortable environment that is conducive to sleep by eliminating uncomfortable bedding, wearing loose clothing, keeping the bedroom temperature slightly cool, and eliminating any bothersome noise or light.