Today was especially hard. For some reason I got to thinking of Christmas, which was the approximate due date for the baby. Isn’t that fantastic? I now have both Mothers Day and Christmas to be melancholic. So I had a silent cry at my desk at work, thinking whether to get a third stocking to remember the baby or if that will just make me feel worse. I have these emotions bubbled up inside and I just wanted to come home and have a good whale of a cry, but Dean beat me home so I’ve had to hold it in. I know he understands and says it’s ok, let it out if I need to, but I’m really just fucking tired of crying in front of my husband. I’d rather do it alone in peace.
Anywho, here are some pics of us recently at the 16th Ave Tiled Steps, also called the Mosaic Steps, which was a collaborative neighborhood project. Friends have recommended I check it out, so away we went one sunny afternoon. I love it, I wish it were in my neighborhood. There are family and businesses names all throughout the tiles plus animals and sea shells. Notice how the SF weather turns from sun to fog.
We are off to England for Christmas and New Year’s. Very very exciting! Dean’s family is in Liverpool so we will spend 5 days with family for the holidays including Boxing Day which I have never celebrated before. Then we’ll be in London for 5 days through New Year’s Day.
I’ve been going to Christmas mass every year for my lifetime. I’ve waited in the cold to get in. I’ve smooshed up to others to fit into a pew. I’ve gone early and waited an hour beforehand. What a waste of time! Didn’t matter whether I was in Alameda or San Francisco. There have always been crowds of Catholics needing to get their Jesus fix.
