My Truth About Burning Man

I never wanted to go to Burning Man, at first. The idea of attending a festival in the desert didn’t appeal to me.
But in 2002, I was a jealous girlfriend who feared my hot boyfriend would return from the burn with a new girlfriend. I asked to accompany him and he agreed. In fact, he wanted me there. We were madly in love.
I had the same thoughts that the people who mock Burning Man had. I figured it was a desert carnival amok with sex, drugs, and rock & roll. By the time I packed up my dust-filled sleeping bag one week later, I had completely changed my mind. It wasn’t a bunch of free-loving, doped-up hippies. The people were creative and smart–scary genius smart. They were the kind of people who went to Ivy Leagues and went on to start their own consulting firms, but came to Burning Man year after year. It was their creative outlet.
They were also the kind of people who never went to school, but were street artists who dreamed the dreams the rest of us aren’t courageous enough to dream. They dream what we think can’t be done and they build it: a zoetrope of swimmers, a fun-house, a treehouse, a rocketship. I specifically remember the first time I rode a roller coaster–a functioning, swirling attraction…in the middle of nowhere.
I especially like wandering around, meeting people, and hanging out. Because what else do you do in the desert? You find yourself in a camp, someone offers you a salty snack or an alcoholic beverage, and you talk. “Where are you from? How many years have you been burning? Did you see that totally cool art piece? Yeah, it made me think back to when I was a kid and my parents use to take us to the theater…” You continue talking. You’re not necessarily best friends, but there’s always some kind of connection with people at Burning Man. Everyone’s open and welcoming. No defenses. Here in the default world, I don’t talk to strangers. I don’t have time to make new friends. I don’t want the bums to ask me for money. So I avoid. At Burning Man, everyone’s smiling. Everyone’s waving. It’s like living on Sesame Street without Oscar the Grouch.
There’s no poverty on the playa. There’s no ‘weirdness.’ People aren’t out of place because they wear costumes and bright colors. The more awkward, the better. Bring it! There’s no vending or exchange of money on the playa (with the exception of coffee at the cafe and ice). It’s a gift economy. Give and ye shall receive. Giving doesn’t necessarily mean a material good. People set up advice kiosks. Others help build by giving their time to help build a camp or setup some struggling newbie’s tent.
In 2003, I was single and went to the burn with random girls I met through Craigslist. We fast became friends. During one of our many bike rides around the playa, we stumbled upon a group of guys playing really good music. Day after day, night after day, we returned to the camp to hang out and listen to music. Many years later, I’m still friends with these people. I’ll forever remember my friend Joanna’s description of the playa one night, “This is like the Disneyland electric parade in Afghanistan on Halloween.” Neon bright art cars were puttering along. Fireworks were booming in the horizon.
But Burning Man is not utopia. It can get sweltering hot during the day and frigid cold at night. Get sweaty naked before noon, then bundle up in your warmest, down-filled, puffy North Face jacket by midnight. Your tent gets layered with dust. You eat food coated with dust. Dust infiltrates your lungs. After painstakingly cleaning yourself with wet wipes, you get struck by a dust storm. It is fucking hell waking up in the middle of the night, needing to tinkle so badly, futzing around for your shoes, saddling up into your fur-covered bike, and charging for the nearest bank of porta-potties which are several streets away.  There’s theft. People will steal your bikes either intentionally or unintentionally. Undercover cops ask you please for an extra tab of E. People get carted off to jail. People get rushed to the nearest hospital. And a man burns to death…ok…he’s really just an effigy.
Year after year, I progressively became more involved. This 2009 was my 8th Burn. I spend hours before the Burn pouring over spreadsheets, scheduling volunteers for shifts. I love my ARTery group. I love what we do to help artists get their pieces on the playa. I absolutely love the family that we’ve become. I like the long hours pre-playa and most especially on the playa, talking to the artists, problem-solving, and then having them gift you with a necklace or bracelet or some shwag that is really heartfelt.
2010 is the 25th anniversary and most likely my last. An ex-Republican who believes in God and has a corporate job that I love, I am not a typical burner. Shit, I’m the anti-burner. But I love Burning Man because it’s the strongest sense of community I’ve ever experienced. I don’t believe there’s anything else like it in the default world.
The Man burns in 338 days!

I Am So Hungry!

Food Today

Chocolate Milk
Salad from the Salad Bar with a Smothering of Croutons
Cheese, Turkey & Crackers
Reese’s Peanut Butter Klondike Bar
Deviled Eggs
Crab Salad
I tried to eat as much as possible before getting my teeth whitened this afternoon at Brite Smile at 3:00 today. I was instructed not to eat anything that would stain a white t-shirt. Hmmm, isn’t that everything? Besides, I don’t want to fuck this up.  I’ve never had my teeth professionally whitened before.  My teeth hurt. Every so often, I feel a very sharp pain in my gums…like rubbing alcohol seeping into an open wound.  I can’t even have a sip of tea which is probably what got me into this yellow-teethy mess to begin with.
As usual, I went for my daily run.  This time, I ran while watching Larry King’s interview of Mackenzie Phillips.  She’s fascinating.  I found her to be articulate and thoughtful–like she has really thought her life through, intent on staying drug-free and helping others who are affected by the same struggles she faced.  When you’re engrossed in something that interesting, the time passes quickly. 500+ calories burned and one hour later, I could already hear my stomach gurgling.
Now, another three hours later and the Glee show finished, I’m considering taking an Ambien to forget about my hunger.

Wedding Workout

Dean frowns when he sees me getting ready. “You’re too skinny.”

I grin from ear-to-ear. “Suhweet!”

I started running again, logging several miles a day. I’m searching for a race to run. I found the perfect one–a half marathon that crosses the Golden Gate Bridge, but it’s at 7am on November 1st. Who wants to sleep early on Halloween night. That’s a total downer. I didn’t intend to start racing again. It just happened. I got a gym membership so I could get away from the studio if I needed personal space. Then I got bored marinating in the steam room day after day. So back on the treadmill I went…huff, huff, huff. I liked that after a bad day at work, I could run speedily and chase the worry away. I used to run a lot when I dated rampantly. Whenever I got dumped (which was often), my pace improved. I had visions of the Boston Marathon.

Now that I started running again, the weight is dropping steadily. That’s not good. As a former anorexic, I got to a place in my life where I was finally comfortable with how I looked, with how much I weighed. But I like losing the weight. It makes me feel empowered, all 80 pounds of me.

‘I may not sport a thousand dollar dress on my wedding day, but at least I’ll be skinny.’ It’s sadistic thinking.

I try to counter the weight loss with ‘healthy’ eating. Today, for example, I had:
Chocolate Milk
Turkey Sandwich
M&M and Chocolate Chip Cookie
Fritos
then pizza tonight for Marc’s birthday, but I’m so hungry I’ll probably eat beforehand.

I wish there wasn’t all this pressure around a wedding. Sure, it doesn’t have to be this way. But how may brides out there really funded their own wedding without parental support, without their husbands footing the majority of the bills? I doubt very many.

Never Pay Full Price

Dean and I are biding our time, hoping for a 1-bedroom to open up in his apartment complex. For now, we live in a spacious, high-ceiling studio with parking in Lower Nob Hill for $1,200. It’s a good deal, but I’m suffering to pay for our wedding!

Not only does Dean’s landlord like him, but Dean also helps out by posting vacancies on Craigslist, showing apartments, and assisting when shit hits the fan.  Usually, he’s the one to tell bums to please not setup their temporary homes on the property.  Dean thinks that when one of the big 1-bedrooms opens up, we can score one for $1,500.  That would be divine.  We are keeping our fingers crossed.
In the mean time, we’ve been doing some home improvements with our studio.  Last night, I told Dean that his dried out plant better perk itself up or else it would be replaced.  ”You have two weeks to look alive or else,” I huffed to the plant as poor Dean looked on.
“Wait!  We need more time.  Please try to be nice.  The plant can hear you.”  
“I don’t care.  You have until Halloween to look alive or you’re outta here.”
Dean’s agreed with most of the improvements I’ve suggested.  He offered one suggestion to buy the above furniture piece which can be found on the Design Within Reach site for $400. “Maybe we can find it on sale or go to Craigslist.”
Bargain shopping is my forte.  I google shopped for ‘acrylic magazine rack stool,’ sorted by lowest price, and found the exact product for $150 with no sales tax and free shipping.  Very simple.  I never pay full price anymore.  No one should.  Implement the google shopping search for all of your purchases: cosmetics, furniture, electronics, anything.

City Life Spells Boredom

The other day I said to Dean, “How bout we find jobs in New York City and live there for a couple years before starting our family?”

He said, “That would be so fun, but New York is so expensive.”

“So what? We already live in a studio apartment now. It wouldn’t be much different. It’s not like we’d live in a space that’s smaller than we are right now. We’d fit right in!”

After living in the city of San Francisco for ten years, I’m quite bored. Yes, that’s right. It’s B-O-R-I-N-G. Dean and I have been together since February and I swear to God I think we’ve eaten out at almost every single brunch spot, deli, high-end restaurant that this place has to offer. Plus, in this economy, not much more is opening up. The place is dead. You can only go to Beach, Blanket, Babylon so many times a year.

For fun, we’ve been crossing the bridges for action. Last weekend, we headed north for sleepy, but new to us Mill Valley. We had a great time eating at Bungalow 44, then ice-cream at Cici Gelateria across the street. It was just different and nice to stroll around in a peaceful neighborhood. Strolling around our neighborhood with the bums and the piss and the defecation gets a bit old after a while. I’m going stirring crazy here in the city. Not that we wouldn’t get bored in the burbs, too, but at least it’s something different. I think after ten years, I’m allowed to be bored.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...