Spooky Halloween

I hope you all had a fun Halloween.  You’ll all be bored to know that I spent mine right here at home, chilling in front of my laptop, sending out my writing to various publications.  Funny, I just wanted to relax tonight after a very long week…working up until the wee hours.  The only reason I got to leave at 5pm was because I told my boss I was going treat-or-treating with my nephews. That was the plan, but my mom’s sick and Therese didn’t want to take the kids trick-or-treating with the rain potential and my mom ill.  So I stayed home and scoured appropriate places to send my pieces.  I swear, I’m going to get published or die trying.

I was going to treat myself to some fine Osha Thai, but was too lazy to get my butt out of here so I made myself a pretty disgusting salad.  I am so bad when it comes to food.  My poor future husband and kids will hate me.  I hope he cooks!
I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A BAG FULL OF CHOCOLATE TO EAT TONIGHT!!!
Back to the recession which is top of mind these days and top of my mind as well.  I was dating this guy Brian who moved to San Francisco to work for a startup.  Fine.  He has a gorgeous one-bedroom apartment in Pacific Heights $2400.  Gulp.  Is it just me?  But isn’t that a lot of fucking money?!?!?!  I mean, my mortgage…let me repeat…my MORTGAGE is $2,000.  How much are my HOAs you might ask?  $100.  That’s it.  That is all I spend to comfortably house myself.  I don’t live beyond my means.  
So Brian got laid off several months ago.  His landlord has started eviction proceedings since he hasn’t paid his rent in two months!  RED FLAG, RED FLAG!  
If I get laid off and I can’t afford my rent, I have no shame in packing my shit up and moving home with my parents.  Let’s say that’s not an option, ok?  I know I’m lucky that I’m a Bay Area native.  Doesn’t matter!  If I were him, I’d give up my posh pad and move in with roommates. Do something different, you know???  Save money!!!  Live within your means, especially if you’re not making a single penny.
So he tells me all this last week when we go out.  I feel so bad, I pay for our drinks which is fine. To his credit, he’s done some really nice things for me.  I knew he was laid off.  I didn’t know the part about the eviction proceedings and how much his rent was.  It’s simply ridiculous.  I dropped him off and I couldn’t stop shaking my head.  Who does that?  GO GET A JOBBY JOB! I don’t care if it’s ringing up the cash register at Trader Joe’s.  That is not beneath me.  I would do it.  In fact, I picked up the flyer for holiday help at Urban Outfitters.  I actually considered it…not because I need the money…but because it couldn’t hurt.  1) I like Urban Outfitters.  2) I’d get a phat discount.  3) Extra money during the holidays is always cool.  4) Time spent working means time spent not spending.
HELLO?  Are you guys with me?  What is wrong with this Brian?  He kept going on and on about how the job market is bad.  How it’s tough to get a job right now.  I wanted to run home and get my flyer for Urban Outfitters to hand to him.  Take a look at this.  They’re having open interviews next weekend.  Check it out!
Don’t be a victim of this recession.  Save, be smart, take precautions.

Meds Follow-Up

I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts about getting on anti-depressants.  I’ve actually found the perfect solution.  It’s also perfect timing for me because my company is now in the middle of our annual benefits enrollment.  

The majority of my life, I’ve been a Kaiser member. From seeing a dermatologist throughout high school because of severe acne up until now, getting Botox shots for underarm perspiration.  The only periods in my life when I didn’t have Kaiser was when I was at Cal and the GSB (they have their own campus health centers).  I was also briefly on a PPO my first job out of college.  Lapse of judgement.  Every time I saw the doctor for something trivial like a check-up, I’d soon after get an incredibly costly bill in the mail.  
I’m sticking with Kaiser.  I do enjoy the care that I get there, but I’ve decided to add on a tax-free flexible spending account to my health care.  That way I can fund an account with pre-tax money to use for any medical / health purpose.  I don’t know why I had never done this before. I can pay for prescriptions, massages, any type of medical, preventative, health expense through this account. 
That said, I’ve found the perfect psychiatrist.  He is actually a friend of a friend.  I’ve met him many times and have always found him to be extremely bright.  He has designed a program that zeros in on exactly the dosage and type of medication you need by looking at your EEG data. Essentially, he’s tracking how your brain responds to medication instead of the hokey trial and error crap that most psychos do.  He’s not cheap, obviously.  But we all know that you get what you pay for.  He went to the best schools, had superb psychiatric training.  I completely trust him.  I would rather spend the money upfront than cross my fingers and hope that a certain medication a doctor is recommending will work.  
I am so pleased that this is all working out in a timely manner.  I’m excited to see him in the New Year and look forward to less sleepless nights of crying.

Hunkering Down

I actually like that we’re in the midst of a recession.  Going out, eating out, taking fancy vacations, making unwise purchases.  It gets tiring after a while.  I haven’t gotten laid off.  My pay is not decreasing.  I expect my bonus to be even better than last year.  Yet, because of this economic doom, I’m hunkering down.  That’s right.  When I got a mani / pedi for my reunion, it was the first time I’d gone to the nail salon in six weeks.  SIX WEEKS!  I kept thinking, why spend $20+ every other week when I can cut and paint my own nails?  I don’t eat out as much as I used to. And if I do?  I make it brunch.  Cheaper than dinner.  

I’m cutting corners across the board.  At work, instead of asking our admin to order me more supplies, I dug through the crevices of my desk and found post-its, pens, and highlighters that had been hiding themselves.  I’m eating my canned goods.  Previously, I wouldn’t have even looked.  I would’ve gone straight to our admin or made another trip to the supermarket for more food.  I’m thinking I won’t buy anymore wine.  I’ve got 26 wine bottles in my own home.  I don’t need to keep buying more friggin alcohol.
I think the biggest impact for me is the vacation.  I have been dreaming about a vacation for months now.  My spare time is spent scrolling through web sites and perusing travel magazines.  But I cannot justify taking a vacation right now.  It just doesn’t seem right.  I promise myself a trip to Turkey or Greece or Slovenia next year.

15 Year High School Reunion

Yikes, sorry for being out of commission, I was busy finalizing the last minute details of our high school reunion this past weekend.  Overall, it was absolutely great.  Of course, there were lessons learned.  My one big disappointment was that the turnout on Sunday for mass at our school and the wine/cheese reception followed by a tour of the new campus was completely overshadowed by the previous night’s bar event.

As for the prep work and planning.  Let’s be real.  I pretty much planned this event.  If I don’t plan things, nothing happens.  So while I complain about the difficulty in managing the troops, I kinda take this workload upon myself.  I know, I know.  It’s a life of service that I lead.
Friday night, Conrado and Chipper came into town.  Conveniently, they were right down the street from me at some hotel in the middle of the hood that I’d never heard of.  It looked fine except for the porno video store across the street.  We went out to the Lookout in the Castro for drinks and ended up gorging on pizza afterwards.  The married guy I’m dating promised to come out and join me for drinks, but when I told him we were in the Castro, he decided to stay in the confines of Marin.  STRIKE 1 for the married guy.  Well, actually, that’s really STRIKE 2 since he does wear a ring on his left ring finger.  The nerve of the guy.  Fine, I figured it was better for him to stay with his Yes on Prop 8 ilk.
The reunion commenced at 8pm at Sip bar on Broadway in North Beach.  Rather early for a Saturday night, I was lucky to find a parking spot directly across the street.  Sip is owned by John Eric Sanchez who graduated in the class below mine.  He was kind enough to open up his bar early for a private party and also block off the back half for our group later on in the night. No charge, no fees, nothing.  So please, please do consider patronizing his bar.  It was really nice of him to do that.  And it’s a great bar.  John Eric broadcast a slideshow that one of my classmates had put together during the night and played cheesy 80s music until one of my classmates told him to switch it.
People trickled in in a timely manner.  Perfect as we mingled and got the update on what everyone was up to.
I think my favorite person of the evening was a lively, popular girl in my class named Gabby Garcia.  For starters, she looked great.  And as with everyone, I demanded, “Where are pictures of the babies?  I want pictures now!”  Most everyone delighted in bringing out their iPhones, scrolling their recent pictures on their cameras.  Not Gabby.  
“Unh-unh, girlfriend.  Tonight is for me.  I ain’t talking about those kids.  It’s always volleyball this and can I go out here with my friends.  And this and that.  I ain’t talking about them tonight.  Not one word.  Let’s talk about me.”  I bowled over laughing.  Same Gabby I knew from high school.  
Everyone looked the same.  I think people looked even better than they had during our 10 year reunion.  I certainly did.  
A small group of us went out for Chinese food late night.  That will probably be one of my fondest memories.  Lots of small talk at the bar, but when you have to sit through a whole dinner of Chinese food…a lot of details come out.  I talked about work and Burning Man.  Terri talked about the crops she was going to grow on her farm.  
Sadly, only a handful of classmates showed up the next day for Sunday mass at our school.  I goaded my parents, aunts and uncles, and sister and her family to come because there was a beautiful spread of appetizers, cheese, and wine.  I had put together a wonderful program.  Two staff members from alumni relations were on-hand to talk about the school initiatives and changes.  We did a Q&A session with a current senior.  I talked about ways to get involved and encouraged donations, including matching any donation made (surprise, surprise…no one donated).  I know I’m the only one in my class who donates to the school.  It depresses me because I know we were all raised similarly: working class backgrounds, immigrant families. I’m going to continue to champion charitable causes.  
People, if there’s one thing you learn from reading my blog today.  GIVE!  GIVE!  There are people out there who are less fortunate.  It is during these recessionary times that we have to support each other, particularly the communities who instilled in us certain values and gave us the skills to earn a living and support our families.  Give, people.  Please give.
And finally, the reunion ended with a wonderful tour of the new campus.  It has come a long way in 15 years, including a state-of-the-art science center.  Students can come up with their own research and development topics to study.  One of the students on hand walked us through his wind turbine technology.
I do love my high school.  I love the people I grew up with.  I love my classmates and teachers. As much planning as there was involved, I think we might have to have a sweet sixteen reunion.

My Demographic

At what point are you middle-aged?  I remember, when I was in high school, there was a popular TV show called thirtysomething.  I couldn’t understand what the whoopla was all about as I quickly bypassed it while channel surfing.  The cast of characters with toddlers slung around their hips looked so boring.  I much preferred Life Goes On which centered on a family with two kids my own age—one of whom with down syndrome—as they struggled with teenage peer pressure and romance.  I think my instincts were true even then because thirtysomethings are quite boring.  I include myself in that pack.  In my teens, there was acne, menstruation, and drama.  Always drama.  In my twenties, I was restless.  I hated my first job.  I felt inadequate and inexperienced, but at least I had stories.  Stories about crazy roommates or moonlighting or not having insurance and standing in line at the city clinic.  I didn’t know what to do, where to settle, who to love.  As a single middle-aged woman, I still don’t know who to love, but I’m content which makes for a boring plot.  I assume it gets even worse from here.  The older you get, the more cautious you become.  Buy more life insurance, max out your 401K, draft up the will.  Thirtysomethings aren’t quite there yet.  We’re respected in our jobs.  Our careers have taken off.  We’re passionate about our interests.   For the most part, I think thirtysomethings are quite happy—except no drama.

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