I’m having a cheesy-themed party tomorrow night. That’s right: cheesy music, pictures are taped up all over one side of my hallway, lots of cheese, lots of wine, quesadillas, and grilled cheese sandwiches. I even bought an old-school Polaroid camera to take fun instant photos to hang up on the walls.
The problem is…more people than I estimated have decided to come. About 60 people. For all of you who haven’t been to my place, it’s a one bedroom <700 sq. ft. That said, I know I defied all matters of etiquette last night when I went into the Evite and removed guests from the guest list. Essentially, I disinvited them. Rude, sure. But here's how I think of it. 1. If you’re really my friend–truly, truly my friend–you would have prioritized me to the top and told me you were coming to my party. If you had other plans or were out of town, then that makes sense and you declined right away. All of that is fine. 2. Those of you who are tentative or did not respond…let’s be real. You guys are shopping for the best party. You’re trying to be coy and determining what your odds are for hooking up. If that’s the case (and you know that it’s true) and you’re trying to decide between several parties, DON’T COME TO MINE. It’s already going to be packed. Go elsewhere and have the fun that you had envisioned. I can’t stand people who don’t respond right away. Those people are clearly not interested and are looking for better opportunities. 3. Real friends are there for me. Don’t give me this shit about other things going on. I’m giving you almost a two week notice on a Friday. This isn’t even a Saturday. 4. Hence my decision. I know I’ll be castigated for being totally uncouth. Seriously, when have you ever been disinvited on Evite. It hurts. I know you’re pained, but I’ve got almost 60 friends who I know truly want to spend time with before I take off on vacation for two weeks. Just several more hours away until cheese and debauchery. For those of you who didn’t respond, for those of you who were on the fence…as they say on Project Runway, you’re either in or out. This time around, you are out. Auf Wiedersehen.