Every work day, after I eat my Lean Cuisine, I head to Specialty’s for a milk chocolate chip cookie. Today, I braved the cold and drizzle to the cookie counter a block and a half away. After ordering, I stepped aside to put the change in my wallet.
The woman behind me steps up to the window with a ziplock bag in her hand. There’s a cookie inside. She’s about my age, looks completely normal. “My husband bought this for me,” she explains with a slight European accent. “I’d like to exchange it for a different one. An exchange.” She says this all very matter of factly.
I was already leaving the counter, but caught the attendant lifting his eyebrow in surprise. He stared at her, perplexed as to what to say. I didn’t get a chance to find out how the scene played out. It was just so bizarre. She acted as if she was exchanging a medium-sized sweater for a small at Banana Republic. What the hell is Specialty’s going to do with a ziplocked cookie? Resell it to someone? What was she thinking?
cou·gar: a female who seeks the pleasure of younger males.
The term came into my vocabulary a year ago when my friend started dating a younger guy. Her cub got a hold of her laptop, brought up the website urbancougar.com, and made sure it was displayed for her next time she logged on. Bad move on his part, but at least he was knowledge-sharing. I’d never heard of ‘cougar’ before their tiff.
Had his ploy not occurred, I’m not sure I ever would have encountered the term. What’s the antonym for cougar? That would be me. I gravitate towards older men; I always have.
I refuse to date younger men. We all have our own set of criteria. I rarely make exceptions when it comes to age. I cringe even when I’m dating someone my own age. This is what I think of:
2. I’m paying for half the bill.
3. He has roommates.
4. He’s intimidated by me.
6. Not ready to settle down.
Stereotypes, sure. But I can’t help but surmise.
I like older men, and when I say ‘older’ men…I mean in the Hugh Hefner sense. Rich, powerful, confident. Think what you want. I won’t apologize for wanting to date someone who grabs the bill (Hallelujah Praise the Lord) and whisks me away on holiday (that hasn’t happened yet, but I’ll keep praying).
Although I’m not looking for someone as old as Hef, wrinkly skeleton-like and propped up by his three girlfriends, I do like a man about ten years my senior. Here’s what I think of:
1. Finally, a dinner I don’t have to pay for.
2. “I have a second home in Carmel.”
3. Knows what he wants.
4. Knows what he doesn’t want.
5. Ready to settle down.
6. Experienced—having seen enough highs and lows to be ultra content with life at that very moment.
31 year old Playmate seeks older Playman for long-term relationship.
They forced me. My family. I swear I wouldn’t be on it if they hadn’t urged me to. “Are you on MySpace? Cmon everyone’s on it. You gotta sign up so you can check out our profiles. We can email each other. Everyone’s on MySpace.”
So I did. And it shocked me. Not in the sense that you think. That being the negative press MySpace has received–online predators and their victims. I don’t think MySpace is to blame. Evil people are going to find kids and try to victimize them whether or not they’re on MySpace, or online for that matter. Let’s hope that parents do their job and teach their kids to look both ways before crossing the street, don’t talk to strangers, all that stuff that’s important when kids go off into the big bad world.
MySpace shocked me because of the sheer number of people who are on it. 158,623,510. Holy shit, people, get your businesses on MySpace. Market on MySpace. Do you understand the number of hits this one site gets per hour? Marketing on social media outlets. This is the future of business, people! I thought I was cool because I was on Friendster, LinkedIn, and Yelp. Those sites don’t hold a candle to MySpace.
Although it seems like any other networking site, MySpace reigns almighty. You fill out a profile with interesting tidbits of yourself. Add pictures, create a slideshow, add videos, update your blog, send messages, comment on pictures. There are also security settings so you can block people or make your profile private. The core feature, as I mentioned before, is its network. You can search this network to find old friends, make new friends, or your next significant other.
I’ll admit, when I first logged on I felt like a pedophile. “What am I doing on a site that caters to the younger generation?” But once I completed my profile, it’s really only been people my age who have emailed me. One of my high school classmates found me which was a nice surprise. Even better, I simply clicked on my high school alma mater, searched alumni, filtered by graduation year, and boom….blast from the past. There were many of my old friends with their new families. I really enjoyed seeing how people changed and how they’re raising their families. Their MySpace sites are centered around their littles ones. Totally made my heart melt.
Not only that, it’s good to see my cousins and the pictures that they put up from high school and college. I discover more about them than I would ever get a chance to find out normally.
And lastly, what the hell was I doing paying for a Match.com subscription? My future husband is on MySpace! I feel like a giddy teenager with all the emails I’ve been getting, and they’re hot! Wedding invitations coming soon.
“Hey Marky, what’re you doing?”
“I’m running around town doing a bunch of errands. I decided to give up procrastination for Lent.”
“Wow, that’s great. I gave up anger.”
This year, I didn’t want to give up sweets or alcohol. I’ve done all of that before. I wanted to really do something to make myself a better person. Traditionally, Catholics give up something to commemorate when Jesus fasted in the desert for forty days and forty nights. The fasting is supposed to prepare us for Jesus’ resurrection on Easter. But if you’re trying to prepare for the coming of Jesus and be a better person, I don’t necessarily believe in giving up something. You can also do something. Like one year, I ran every day and during that running time, I self-reflected and thought about what I could do to be better.
This year I am giving up something (anger), but it’s more about practicing the exercises I’m learning in therapy. Breathe. Count to ten. Why am I feeling this way?
I put a sign on my door that read, ‘Do not get angry.’ But why even bring the word into my thoughts? So I got rid of that and replaced it with the ‘Be Happy’ sign.
Here’s a forwarded email from my sister with more interesting things to give up. I had already thought about giving up anger, but this email solidified it.
What Should I Give Up for Lent?
Chocolate? – Ice Cream? – Soda?
Many of us try to be more disciplined for Lent and give up something that we really like. That’s great! Fasting has always been an important tradition of Lent. This year however, let us also consider other things that we can give up.
Give up complaining – Focus on gratitude
Philippians 2:14&15 – Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure…
1 Thessalonians 5:18 – Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.
Give up bitterness – Turn to forgiveness
Ephesians 4:31 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Give up worry – Trust in God
Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life… who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
Matthew 6:33 – But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Give up discouragement – Be full of hope
Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you: he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Isaiah 40:31 – But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Give up hatred – Return good for evil
1 John 2:9 – Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.
Luke 6:27 – “But I tell you who hear me; Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”
Give up anger – Be more patient
Matthew 5:22 – But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
Proverbs 15:18 – A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.
Give up gossiping – Control your tongue
Psalm 34:13 – Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Proverbs 21:23 – He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
I used to be addicted to Ambien. Now I can’t remember the last time I took one. There’s a whole bottle of pills tucked away in a kitchen drawer. I have no need for them.
This is just a quick update to reaffirm how much I love my Tempurpedic. My sleep is cozy and uninterrupted. It’s good sleep. I wake up feeling well-rested. I’m in better spirits. I swear I’m a better person because of it. I found out that one friend has the same style Tempurpedic, and another friend had just purchased a mattress last time we talked–but he got an upgraded style. The expensive ones are more cushiony, but I gravitate toward firmness.
There are also special Tempurpedic pillows that come with the mattress, but can be sold separately. I can’t live without my Tempurpedic pillow. Buy a pillow and treat yourself to a good night’s sleep.