My aunt celebrated her 49th birthday this weekend. With no less than 75 people in her house, it was like a mini family reunion not to mention a great, big celebration. I got there before most of the guests arrived to hang out with my cousins. I walked through the door, gave everyone a hug, and was horrified to hear my younger cousins blurt out, “Nice blog.” “Yeah, nice blog, Vixen.”
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to react. I haven’t publicly announced this blog to anyone. It’s only included in my gmail signature so I’m still surprised when people mention that they read it.
Well, I care that my little 13-year-old cousin Jessika is reading this blog. STOP IT, JESSIE!
Turns out my aunt somehow stumbled upon my blog and told my family. I know I can’t stop the maelstrom that will soon ensue…so maybe, possibly, hopefully I can do a little damage control with the following. OK, JESSIE, READ NOW!
I realize I engage in reckless behavior. You’ve seen me bust a move on the dance floor, crank up the karaoke, and throw down a beer or two or three. What can I say? I’m a party girl, I drink a lot, and sometimes I lose control. Consider it a backlash against everything I’ve done right (and done well) my whole life.
I can’t say my parents treasured the time they spent raising me. My temper can flare with the best of them, but I was a child exemplar on paper. I got straight A’s. I was always at the top of my class. I babysat my teachers’ kids. I gained acceptance to UC Berkeley as a junior under their accelerated program. As a full-time college student, I was there on scholarship. I got into the #2 MBA program in the country. I did my summer internship at Cisco and worked as hard as I could. I impressed the managers and (out of the internship class) garnered the most number of full-time offers from various departments.
Aside from school and work, I set certain standards for myself that were important for me. When I was a kid, my parents made me go to Mass with them. No one drags me now. I go because I listen to the scriptures and I want to incorporate the messages into making my life a good one.
I waited a long time to be intimate with someone. 24 years!! While having dinner one night, my co-worker stroked my hair and said, “I love you. I really love you.” He didn’t expect anything. Nothing had happened between us prior to that moment. It just came from his heart. I was so happy. I was glad I waited.
I mention all these things because that is the core of who I am. In this blog, I write about the crazy shit because who wants to read a posting about how I’m really a nerdy dork at heart–that most nights, I actually sit on my couch and read.
Despite the speeding tickets, the drinking, the hangovers, the wild behavior, I want you all to know that there’s no way I would ruin my life. I would never intentionally hurt my family or friends, nor would I ever do anything so off-base as to jeopardize my career or future. Please don’t worry, I’m not going to suddenly become a 30-year-old fuck-up. Trust me, it’s not going to happen.
But I understand your concern. I’ll try not to be too zany!
I should have prefaced my blog with this posting. But I believed my audience to be a bunch of 20- / 30-somethings who would be interested in reading about the experiences of a single, contemporary hippie living and breathing the San Francisco scene. Ahh, the power of the internet. Grrreat…now my family is reading. Shucks.